The Secret To Become A Better Father.

Have you ever wondered why you end up doing and saying some of the same hurtful things your dad did to you? You know what I’m talking about. Those things you remember your dad saying to you as a child that you swore you would NEVER do to your kids. Remember those? The things we said we’d never do and the things we said we’d never say have a way of creeping into our parenting vocabulary when we least expect it, don’t they? 

Why do repeat the same parenting patterns that we hated as children? We need to understand that God has created us to be word activated and grace empowered as people. The words that were spoken over you, the way you were parented by your father ends up molding and shaping you into the father that you will become. The things that your dad did, or didn’t do for you as a child or teen, affect how you will parent your future kids. 

Galatians chapter four says this, “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law” (Gal. 4:4-5a). In other words, Jesus came to save all of us who have blown it in our lives. That’s everybody. We’ve all sinned, right? “To redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” (Gal 4:5) God’s plan for you is for you to be a son and have a new Father. From the moment you were born, God has been after you so that He could adopt you as a son. 

God’s desire and plan to adopt us as His children, as sons, matters because of where we’ve come from. If our first father, our earthly father affected who we’ve become (and he did)—whether he was present or not—then we’re going to need another Father to fix things so that we can become the men, fathers, and husbands that we were meant to be. That’s the promise of Galatians 4:4-5. Galatians goes on to say, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” (Gal. 4:6) Something changes in our hearts when God adopts us as His sons. We cry out to Him, Abba, or Daddy. You were made for more than one father. 

The secret for you to become a better father and husband is in your ability to learn how to be God’s son. “So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” (Gal. 4:7) Part of being God’s son is that He wants to move you from the prison you’ve been living in. From the broken things that were done to you, or maybe from some of the broken things you’ve been doing. He wants to move you from seeing yourself and your kids only by all the things you’ve done wrong. Just that shift in mindset will change everything. You are no longer a slave, you are a son. 

So, to answer your question—yes, you can change. Yes, you can become the man, husband, and father that God has called you to be. That you were meant to become. Yes, you can change those broken patterns of the way you speak to your kids. The key is in becoming a son all over again and letting your Heavenly Father parent you in a way that transforms the way you speak to yourself, your kids and your wife. Your ability to be that father that you want to be is found in your ability to receive your adoption from God. It’s going to change everything. 

The secret to becoming a better father starts at the moment when you become a son and being Fathered by God will empower you to father your kids the same way God Fathers you. 

It’s never too late to transform your story. 


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Published on August 15, 2019.

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