The Gift Your Mom REALLY Wants for Mother's Day

The perfect gift for Mother’s Day. Have you found one yet? Have you even thought about it yet? If you’ve set foot inside a mall or a grocery store lately, you know what the world thinks your mom wants; flowers, a card, or a gift card to her favorite spa.

But after years of working with families just like yours (and trying to figure out what to buy for my wife (the mother of my five children!), I’ve discovered a secret. Most moms really want just one thing: to know they’ve made a difference in your life.

It’s a secret that not many moms talk about. Truthfully, most moms are too afraid to ask questions like “What do I mean to you? Have I made a difference in your life? Were my sacrifices valuable to you?”

Answering those questions for your mom will make this Mother’s Day the best one yet for your mom. And don’t worry: we even have some suggestions for those of you who are struggling in your relationship with your mom, or need some help connecting to your mom through a challenging relationship.

In the book of Timothy, there is special mention made of Timothy’s mother and grandmother, and the legacy they had left him. The book of Timothy is actually a letter from the apostle Paul writing to his spiritual son Timothy, a young man who was pastoring a church of his own. Here’s what Paul says about Timothy’s spiritual heritage:

“I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” (2 Timothy 1:5 ESV)

In other words, Paul is saying, “Timothy, I know where your faith comes from because I know your mom and your grandmother. I’ve seen how they’ve lived their lives by faith, and now I’m seeing that same faith in your life as well.”

Your mom wants to hear the same words spoken about her life as well. She wants to know that she made a difference in your life, that her life mattered. That all of those years of sleepless nights, late feedings, driving to and from school and practice, and making dinner counted for something.

You may be thinking “My mom already knows all of that!” or just the opposite: “The only thing I learned from my mom is what NOT to do!”

Beloved, the only difference between those two statements is forgiveness. The first example is an opportunity to bless your mom with your words, which can be powerful. The second example is an opportunity to bless your mom by allowing God to bring healing to her wounds through you.

In our ministry, we have a special term we use for kids who’ve been touched by the Blessing of the Father message, and want to bring that message back home to their families. We call it Operation: Bless Up, or more simply ‘blessing up’. It means taking the blessing, healing, and forgiveness you’ve received from the Father and bringing it back to your home to bless your parents with the blessing they never received from their parents.

Blessing up requires that you’ve first worked through the hurt and forgiveness you’ve experienced in your own family. Sometimes, the change and healing you’re looking for can originate with you, but it’s going to take time, forethought, and lots of prayer.

So whether you’re looking for the perfect gift to give your mom this Mother’s Day, or you’re looking for a way to reconnect with your mom through blessing up, I’ve got four practical ideas for you:

 

Use your words to bless your mom

 

Tell your mom how you feel about her. Sure, you may have told her before, but words are a powerful tool for both blessing and blessing up.

“Mom, I love you. Thank you for the ways you have sacrificed and put me first.”

Give her specifics (moms love that!). Tell her a story about a time she did something, or the way she said something, that really touched your heart.

If you’re blessing up to reconnect with your mom, think of some ways that you can encourage her. Try to focus on any positives in your relationship, things you can work with as a means of building a bridge.

 

Write a list of the things you’ve learned from her

 

“Mom, I would not be the person that I am today without learning from you. You taught me how to…”

Listing out practical things your mom has taught or shown you is a beautiful way to honor your mom, and all that she’s done for you. Have you ever noticed that we usually save this kind of stuff for eulogies? Let’s bless our moms while they’re still with us to hear it!

If you’re blessing up, you may write a list of things you’ve accomplished that you want to share with her. Even in extreme situations—like adoption, where kids have lived apart from their birth moms—it can be a blessing to her just to hear that you’ve lived the life she’s given you, whether you agree with her choices or not.

 

Send a card

 

“Mom, thank you for believing in me when others didn’t. I remember the time you…”

For some of us, sharing our hearts out loud in front of others (or on the spot) can be challenging. If that’s you, take some time to write out what you’d like to say in a card for your mom.

If you’re blessing up, use this opportunity to share words of blessing and forgiveness with your mom.

 

Give her a road map to success

 

Most moms want to know how they can be a better mom, and how they can connect to you more. Often, natural life transitions—such as graduations, moving away, getting married, or having kids—can leave moms feeling useless, or at a loss as to how to relate to you in your new season.

Teaching your mom how you would like her to be a part of your life is like giving her a road map to success. Equip her by showing how you’d like her to love you in your new season. “I’d like you to be a part of my life, and here’s how you can do it…”

For those of you blessing up, giving your mom a road map to success may look more like providing your mom with safe, healthy ways to interact with you. That might sound something like this: “Mom, I love you, and I want you to be a part of my life. If you’re willing, I’d like to plan out monthly times when the kids and I can get together with you at a park or…”

What your mom really wants on Mother’s Day is to know that she’s made a difference in your life, or that you still need her in your life. Trust me, it’s the gift she really wants.


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If this message has touched your heart or ministered to your family and you would like to help other families, please donate to the Blessing of the Father Ministries.

Published on May 9, 2018.

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