The Power of Forgiveness For Reconnecting with Your Children
Are you taking a stand as a father? If there was ever a time in the history of our country and world for fathers to stand—and take a stand for their families—it is now!
Last week, we learned about how to “stand as a father” by forgiving your dad, as well as the power and healing that happens in our life when we show mercy and forgive those who have hurt us.
I meet dads every week that want to be good fathers, but they either feel stuck in their hurt with their own dad, or they are struggling with their kids. So, what are the keys to being a dad who makes a difference?
The first thing I want to say to you dads: it is never too late to be the father that your kids need and want you to be. The hurt from your own father doesn’t have to transfer to your kids. I believe that as men, we are only able to give away what we have received; when our dads bless us, it flows to right into our families. But when our relationship with our father is more hurtful than empowering, it can hinder us blessing our kids, not because we are not trying, but because it hard to make fathering about our kids when we are still waiting to arrive ourselves.
I have had some really bad fathering moments! What about you?
Have you gotten irrationally angry at your kids? Have you not provided them enough guidance? Do you withhold telling them that you love them until they do it right, or perform according to what you have told them time and time again?
It’s easy to emotionally cut off your kids when you grew up with a Dad who did the same thing to you.
Forgiveness is God’s way of healing even our worst fathering moments. But forgiveness doesn’t happen without humility. Saying to your kids that you’re sorry for being angry helps, but it really doesn’t bring the healing you want until you humble yourself. Ask them: can you tell me how much I hurt you, so that I can ask for forgiveness?
Asking for forgiveness not only starts the healing process, but it models to your kids the way that they can grow, themselves. I coach kids every year that were raised in a family where the hurt built bigger walls of bitterness, and forgiveness was never modeled by their parents. One of the most powerful things you can do as a father to your kids is to ask for forgiveness with humility by saying, “Will you forgive me for...”
Do you feel that, after everything you’ve done or said, your kids won’t forgive you? Not to mention the things you have done that you promised you would never do again? How do you rebuild the bridge into the heart of your kids so that you can make a difference in their life?
You’re not alone—these questions run through the heads of so many fathers! Making mistakes is part of being a dad. However, it’s easy to believe that these mistakes cannot be overcome, that we’ve lost the love and respect of our children, and there’s no going back.
But it is never too late—our Father in Heaven has shown us the way! Dads, why don’t you go this week to your kids and ask those questions. You will reconnect with their heart in ways similar to how I’ve reconnected with my own family. I thought I had to be a leader and have all the answers for my kids. Wrong! I learned that what my kids want more than anything else is a living example of a flawed father, who is willing to own mistakes and do whatever is necessary to rebuild bridges.
Take a stand as a father and ask for forgiveness. It will make you a better man and a better father!
Praying for you,
Ed Tandy McGlasson
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Published on October 24, 2017.